Attack of the Killer Kittens
by LonniGirl
Summary: What more could you ask for other than you favorite heroes of Tortall, some cute, adorable, killer kittens, and some evil people thrown in? this is my first fanfic. so don't be too hard on me. This story is no longer being worked on. Sorry.
1. Chapter 1

Invasion of the killer kittens  
  
"Oh they are so adorable" said innocent daughter of the evil mean man (idotemm for  
  
short), as she played with a litter of cute, adorable, 'innocent kittens', "Ah yes, that is the  
  
idea of using kittens to get to the soft hearted heroes of Tortall" said bad mean evil man  
  
(bmem for short) followed closely by an evil cackle (really fits for bad mean evil man  
  
doesn't it). In reaction to the evil sounding laughter coming from bmem the cats started  
  
hissing with their hair on end, dogs and wolves began howling, and windows and glasses  
  
shattered. "Now really father, I thought that we had agreed that there would be no more  
  
laughter like that. Honestly, I am running out of spare windows and shush, and the kittens  
  
don't look so cute when their hair is standing up like that" said idotemm, scolding her  
  
father. "Ah yes, you are right. Any way I should be shipping them away to their new  
  
owners soon, but just to give them their special micro phoneo thing that that odd girl sold  
  
me". And then it was off into their new homes for the 'cute, adorable, innocent kittens' to  
  
be off to their new homes with the soon to the ummm how did he refer to them, heroes of  
  
Tortall, but who would be the first victim?  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"A parcel for you, Lioness," said a servant that looked oddly like someone who would be  
  
a henchmen for some evil person (a/n but who am I to speculate, other than the all  
  
powerful author who controls all that occurs in this story. For I could make the sky rain  
  
fish in this story. okay, finished with that out burst, I promised the nice men, you know,  
  
the ones in white jackets that came from that nice building with white bouncy walls that  
  
they give you special shirts to wear, that I wouldn't have too many of those, they think  
  
that they are caused by 'other people in my head' but I told them that nooooo it was from  
  
the voices in my head. And that they should hear about them. After I said that, they put  
  
me in my very own room, with extra fluff everywhere, and made the jacket tighter, it was  
  
funny when the found that I had fun changing shirts. OOps I think they would call that an  
  
out burst, so back to the story now). "Aah, if it isn't from my old squire, Neal," she said,  
  
unknowing that in fact it was not Neal who sent her that package, and if you don't know,  
  
then I will have to suggest that you come with me next week to the nice men in white  
  
coats, and the funny walls, but anyway. In the package was the cutest little kitten, solid  
  
black with blue purple eyes. "Goddesses" Alanna managed to gasp before collapsing on  
  
the nearest couch. * Why in Tortall would Neal send me a kitten that looks just as near  
  
to how I described Faithful to look as possible? And as we in THE REAL WORLD say 'speak of the devil himself' or something like that, you say it when the person you were  
  
talking about behind their backs, which I note is not very nice at all, walk in and you  
  
want them to know that you were talking about them that moment but you don't want  
  
them to know what you were saying. Well, anyway there was Neal in the flesh and blood,  
  
the blood and flesh, in the person, and everything else that I can't think of to say like that.  
  
But anyway there was Neal, so of course, Alanna being the straight forward person that  
  
she is, said....  
  
"Well, what a pleasant shock to see YOU here Neal, with the package, I hadn't expected  
  
you for many weeks at the least." And Neal being the quick witted person that he is, he  
  
just said "What?" stupidly as you could imagine coming from him, or anyone at that.  
  
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Soooo how do you like my first chappie, and story at that. Well, review and I will try to put more up soon, that is if anyone likes it enough to give me anything. 


	2. Chapter 2 updated

Disclaimer sorry I forgot to do one last time, but I do have one this time, I do not own Tamora Pierce's charicters, she does, and I am insanely jealious. But I do own some charicters that you don't recognise.  
  
killer kittens ch2  
  
When we last left our "Heroes of Tortall" Alanna was holding a package that was 'from Neal' but truly from bmem (our demented villian) and Neal was standing with a stupid look on his face stampering about how he hadn't sent that package to her and something that sounded like "why would I send you a package when I could just deliver it my self". But that wasn't heard because Kel came walking in with another kitten, cooing and babying it(not something you would expect from a knight, even a female one). To stop only long enough to ask if either knew where Lord Raoul was so she could thank him, only to be greeted by Alanna showing her the new kitten that she had been given and Neal nearly yelling that he hadn't been the one who sent it. "That's fishy, I just got a cute adorable kitten today too. I think Joren has something to do with this!" Said Kel loudly. "Ummmm, Kel, Joren Died in the chamber afew years ago, remember?" said Neal. "Oh yeah, I guess I kinda forgot about that," was obviously said by Kel. "But you are right Kel, this is very fishy, or maybe that is just dinner in the kitchen," said Alanna, feeling she had to get something in that conversation, and what better to say than something to a fellow female knight than something comforting(a/n you know the whole 'girls band together' thing). Just that moment Numiar(check this spelling before adding) and a beaming Daine, carrying an equally cute kitten to what Kel and Alanna's, walked into the room. Daine jabbering at the kitten(much like alanna was) then at Numiar only long enough to thank him for the kitten before jabbering at it again. That is until she saw Alanna and Kel's kittens, to whome she ran over to begin jabbering WITH them about the kittens, trading kittens, and other things you would never expect from Alanna. During which Neal and Numiar began telling one another about how b they didn't give them to the friendsb/ and began looking for where Raoul was so they could make sure that he hadn't sent Kel the kitten, as they hadn't sent any of them. 


End file.
